Thursday morning my mom and I left the littles with Aunt Ninny and went to little Ava's memorial service. It was such a beautiful service so full of God's presence and honor for a precious little girl that was taken way too soon. The steadfast faith shown by her family throughout their whole journey with her illness has been so amazing.
The music and the eulogy as well as the video montage of little Ava throughout her life was just so touching. I cried and mourned for this precious girl that I never really knew as well as her family. There was even some laughter sprinkled in as we watched silly photos of her while her favorite song ABC by The Jaskson Five played and while her Uncle Issac retold stories of her "moxie".I was so glad that I was able to attend her service. It was touch and go as to whether I was going to be able to make it because of work, but in the end it worked out because I know that is where God wanted me to be. I also was so pleased to be able to see Linda who I had met several weeks ago at the clinic who was very close to her family. We had talked and cried together about little Ava and I so wanted to see her again. When she saw me we hugged and cried again as we left the sanctuary. She told me that I was the only person she was hoping to see as I was hoping to see her as well. We walked out together and shared our God moment as she called it.
My heart still aches and the tears still come sometimes, but I know it does not begin to compare to how her family feels. Her father, mother and older brother got up and spoke during the service and I was so amazed at the strength and faith that they maintained while speaking about their sweet daughter and sister. Her mom was such a pillar of strength as she shared about her daughter's fight and bravery throughout her illness right to the very end.
I was eager to get back to Grandma's house and hug my children. I was so glad that Missy Miss was still awake. She reminds me a lot of Ava. She has a lot of "moxie" herself and definitely holds her own with three big brothers. She also loves to sing and dance just as little Ava did. During part of Ava's service they played a video clip of her singing "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do" So precious!
When we got back to Grandmas Missy started putting stickers on the rocking chair in the family room and when asked why she was putting stickers on the furniture she said " I'm making it pretty". She is such a little princess for sure!
Once again, I had to leave and head to work that afternoon. My heart was definitely back at home with my children for sure. My eyes ached from crying so much. They felt like I hadn't slept in days.
Then to add to the emotion of the day Peanut called me a few minutes after 4pm to tell me that he was having problems with his vision going black and pressure in his head. I told him to stay at school and had my husband and stepdad go out and get him.
Meanwhile, I began freaking out that he may be having an adverse reaction to his Accutane called Pseudotumor Cerebri where people develop increased intracranial pressure. It is very rare, but of course my mind was playing the worst case scenerio. I called an Ophthamologist that we refer patient's to and he agreed to meet us in the ER. I was praying and very preoccupied to say the least while I saw a few more patients before closing early around 540 and meeting Daddy and Peanut at the ER.
Long story short, he is just fine. Eye exam completely normal, as well as labs and CT Brain!! Thank you God! We finally left around 10pm and went to pick up Peanut's car at Grandma's house and then home to eat a quick bite and go to bed. We have held his Accutane and will speak to his Dermatologist on Monday as well as followup with the Ophthamologist next week.
The littles stayed at Grandma's while we were at the hospital and had fun playing dress up. She tucked them in at her house for the night although Woobie was still awake and playing iphone games when we arrived to pick up the car.
Needless to say it was a day that was a drain on my emotions for sure. My whole body sighed in relief when I finally hit the bed for the night.
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